Heterosexuals react to Prop 8.5 and the Banning of Hummus and Elton John CDs

Today Prop 8.5 passed which makes it illegal for Heterosexuals to own an Elton John CD and for Heterosexuals to eat Hummus, a delicious combination of chickpeas and garbanzo beans.

Thousands of angry straight men and women gathered in protest in front of city hall dressed as Elton John carrying bags of pita bread.

"The Homosexuals are taking away our basic human rights. I love Rocket Man and I love Mediterranean food. Gay people will never understand the pain we are going through." says Jake Koufax from San Bernardino California.

The passing of 8.5 came as no surprise because today the California Supreme Court upheld the controversial Prop 8 which eliminates the rights of same-sex couples to marry.

What did come as a surprise was how delicious hummus is.

Hummus is a mixture of mashed chickpeas, blended with tahini, olive oil, lemon juice, salt and garlic. It is popular with vegetarians and the Homosexual community because of its pleasing taste.

Now that straight people are banned from eating hummus it has created a huge black market for underground sales of the savory spread. You can now find a hummus dealer on every corner in Heterosexual neighborhoods. Hummus related crimes are up 4,000%.

Will the human race ever settle its differences? Will the war between two immovable objects ever end or will the two battle on and on for eternity? Only time will tell.